Since I'm not going anywhere for the moment, might as well write about something else
Random Vietnamese Guy: Hi, those are really nice shoes
Me: Huh?
RVG: Yeah, really nice shoes. Where did you get them from?
M: You're kidding, right? These are not nice shoes
RVG: Yeah they are
M: They came from some really cheap shop back home. I doubt you have heard of it
RVG: Oh well, I saw you earlier in <generic tourist attraction>
M: I doubt it. I only got off the plane an hour ago
RVG: So it wasn't you? I'm sure it was you
M: Yeah well, us white guys all looks the same
RVG: So anyway, I guess looking at you that you are from Australia
M: Err..
RVG: Come on, Australia right? Am I right or am I wrong
M: You're wrong
RVG: Oh. Where you from then?
M: UK
RVG: UK! Yes, of course! I should have known that. Which city?
M: Bristol
RVG: Brisbane?
M: What? No. Brisbane is in.... Look, I'm not Australian. I come from Bristol
RVG: BRISTOL!!! YOU ARE FROM BRISTOL IN THE UNITED KINGDOM!!!
M: Why are you shouting?
RVG: Yes, Bristol. Very nice city
M: You know it?
RVG: Uh, yeah. So....... Bristol... it is in.... Bristol is in the ...... east?
M: Not quite
RVG: So where is it then?
M: South west. Pretty different to east
RVG: Yeah, I do know Bristol. Actually my sister is moving there next month
M: Is she really? Well, that is a coincidence isn't it?
RVG: Yes, it is a coincidence.
M: You really don't get sarcasm do you?
At this point RVG receives a phone call that last about 2.5 milliseconds.
RVG: So yeah, anyway, my sister is moving to Bristol next month. She is a nurse and will work at Bristol General Hospital. Do you know it?
M: The hospital?
RVG: Yeah, Bristol General Hospital. She will look after old people
M: That's not really what they do there. Plus it is closing next month
RVG: But my mother, she is worried about my sister. She worries about safety and her being in a foreign country
M: And let me guess. You want me to come back to your house and reassure your mother that everything is ok, that the UK is very safe, Bristol is a lovely city and all that
RVG (offended): No! Why would you think that? I'm not going to ask you back to my house. Why do you say it like that?
M: Because I've heard of this routine before
RVG (very friendly again): Ok, Matt. Well it was lovely to meet you. Hope you have a great holiday
M: Yeah, right.
Random Vietnamese Guy: Hi, those are really nice shoes
Me: Huh?
RVG: Yeah, really nice shoes. Where did you get them from?
M: You're kidding, right? These are not nice shoes
RVG: Yeah they are
M: They came from some really cheap shop back home. I doubt you have heard of it
RVG: Oh well, I saw you earlier in <generic tourist attraction>
M: I doubt it. I only got off the plane an hour ago
RVG: So it wasn't you? I'm sure it was you
M: Yeah well, us white guys all looks the same
RVG: So anyway, I guess looking at you that you are from Australia
M: Err..
RVG: Come on, Australia right? Am I right or am I wrong
M: You're wrong
RVG: Oh. Where you from then?
M: UK
RVG: UK! Yes, of course! I should have known that. Which city?
M: Bristol
RVG: Brisbane?
M: What? No. Brisbane is in.... Look, I'm not Australian. I come from Bristol
RVG: BRISTOL!!! YOU ARE FROM BRISTOL IN THE UNITED KINGDOM!!!
M: Why are you shouting?
RVG: Yes, Bristol. Very nice city
M: You know it?
RVG: Uh, yeah. So....... Bristol... it is in.... Bristol is in the ...... east?
M: Not quite
RVG: So where is it then?
M: South west. Pretty different to east
RVG: Yeah, I do know Bristol. Actually my sister is moving there next month
M: Is she really? Well, that is a coincidence isn't it?
RVG: Yes, it is a coincidence.
M: You really don't get sarcasm do you?
At this point RVG receives a phone call that last about 2.5 milliseconds.
RVG: So yeah, anyway, my sister is moving to Bristol next month. She is a nurse and will work at Bristol General Hospital. Do you know it?
M: The hospital?
RVG: Yeah, Bristol General Hospital. She will look after old people
M: That's not really what they do there. Plus it is closing next month
RVG: But my mother, she is worried about my sister. She worries about safety and her being in a foreign country
M: And let me guess. You want me to come back to your house and reassure your mother that everything is ok, that the UK is very safe, Bristol is a lovely city and all that
RVG (offended): No! Why would you think that? I'm not going to ask you back to my house. Why do you say it like that?
M: Because I've heard of this routine before
RVG (very friendly again): Ok, Matt. Well it was lovely to meet you. Hope you have a great holiday
M: Yeah, right.
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